Ever wondered why the initial passion of your long term relationship has
lost some of its shine over time. You may even start seeing your partner as the
very human person that they are and some of that humanness is challenging. You
remember all of the movies and stories of love and the happily ever after’s and
wonder why isn’t it like that for you!
Hollywood or the fairy-tale writers end where they do because real
relationships actually take time, effort and energy!
To have a full, satisfying long term relationship it takes more than
sex. Emotional intimacy is the life blood of healthy relationships. Guess what,
your sex gets better with it as well!
Emotional Intimacy is Key
Grow your emotional intimacy, give it the time and attention it deserves and the rewards your relationship will have multiply.
Many couples tell me they don’t know how to grow their emotional intimacy
and so here are some tips to get you started.
Be respectful to your partner treat them as you would like to be treated because when you do you also often get more respect. Sometimes it’s better to be kind than right. Be trustworthy and have integrity do the things you have said you would do or say no in the first place if you are not going to do it. This allows your partner to trust what you say. Share your feelings allow yourself to be vulnerable with your partner, slow down and recognize what you are feeling.
It is important for your mental health to get to know yourself and to be authentic. By sharing regularly with your partner and being curious together about each other and vulnerable with each other you build that intimacy. Spend time having fun together often we let life take over and forget to prioritize having good times together.
Quit being so me focused this sets up a cycle of deprivation, if you want a happy relationship then you need to focus on making sure your Partners needs are met. When you have met the emotional needs of your partner, they are more open and interested in meeting your needs. This sets up a positive feedback cycle and when both of your needs are met you feel closer and happier with each other and the relationship becomes more fulfilling on all levels.
If you want to discover more about yourself and your partner discover your processing styles in my new book “Knowing me, Knowing You – The PEP Personality Process” at https://amzn.to/2CrPnA3
Wishing you a long and loving relationship,
Sincerely Couples Therapy, Relationship and Marriage Counselling Victoria BC, Nadine Hanchar
Nadine Hanchar helps individuals and businesses build better relationships, discover new choices, new perspectives, and create success. Nadine is a counsellor, consultant, speaker, and trainer with over 35 years’ experience helping others professionally. She is a bestselling author and specializes in working with trauma, abuse, relationship issues, and communication. Learn more at ProgressivePlus.com and connect with Nadine on Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and Instagram.
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