Important Speaking Tip for Women!
Do you feel you aren’t being taken seriously?
Do others get more credit for saying similar things?
Do you feel you get the respect you deserve when you speak?
Do people doubt you or feel uncertain about your expertise?
These things may be going on and you may not even know it or you could be confused by not getting that raise or promotion or maybe not getting called back to do another presentation.
One of the things I have found with women who present on almost any topic is that as women particularly Canadian women we have been conditioned to elicit agreement with our tonality. I find that this is sometimes so ingrained that most women don’t even know they are doing it.
The problem is that when they use this tonality they are often not taken as seriously as men or given as much credit for their work. People can even doubt that what they are saying is true or not give them the attention they deserve. They could be an expert in their field, really know their topic and yet not be as respected as they could be.
Universally there are three tonalities that people use during speech. The first one is questioning tonality, the second is statement tonality and the third is command tonality.
Questioning tonality goes up on the end of the sentence
Statement tonality stays the same at the end of the sentence
Command tonality goes down at the end of the sentence
Many women end almost every sentence with questioning tonality and what this does internally for the speaker is to ask for agreement. What this does to their listening audience internally is to create doubt or uncertainty.
One of the things I love about being a coach is that when I can critique a person’s presentation and assist them in being more effective, more respected and taken more seriously. They feel better and they have more success and I know that I have been a small part of the journey. To me that is success!
So women speakers and presenters, here is your tip; when you are speaking it is best to stay in statement tonality or command tonality and a combination of the two is even better. Even when you ask a question get into the habit of doing it in statement tonality and you will be surprised by how this can change things for you!
I hope this tip assists you in being a more successful speaker! If you would like to share your success with me I would love to hear from you!
– Nadine Hanchar, Professional Development Victoria